Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Trapped In The Closet


Close your tv, shut down the music and click this link to watch this South Park episode (12th episode 9th season):
http://www.youtube.com/watch/trapped in the closet
or download it here:

No, not because South Park is a wonderful animation serie (which it is!...) but because it is very educational. This is the episode which they make fun of Scientology and afterwards the voice of South Park character Chef, Isaac Hayes left the serie. South Park was making fun of everything, every belief, religion etc. until this episode and he was ok with that. But Scientology movement was aimed and he become offensive because his religion was "insulted" (you have to see the last episode of South Park when they made fun of Chef, it's already free to download on the net but anyway).

In this episode well known Scientologist Tom "Mission Impossible" Cruise was also targeted as well as R. Kelly and John Travolta. This episode was not shown on the UK channel Paramount Comedy 1, as it is believed that Tom Cruise has threatened to sue. Despite the title of the episode, no one is literally "trapped" in a closet (the title is a reference to R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet"). Instead Tom Cruise is shown to voluntarily seclude himself in Stan's closet; this may be an attempt to lampoon Tom Cruise's history of suing people who claim he is homosexual (at one point in Scientology it was the practice to lock the member in a closet for two or more days while he wrote up his sins). It is also meant to make fun of John Travolta's possibility of being bisexual, another rumor which doesn't seem to be as well known.

South Park is my favourite, although some people can't appreciate (or understand) their satyrical humor, too bad for them!.. This episode is not even funny, but Scientology movement itself is ridiculous enough. In the episode the "great secret" of Scientology is explained. Funny enough, the producers put a big warning on the screen to make sure that it's not a South Park joke!. Here it goes:

"It all began 75 million years ago. Back then, there was a galactic federation of planets which was ruled over by the evil lord Xenu. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets, and then had those aliens frozen. (At this point, the text "This is what Scientologists actually believe" appears on the screen, and stays on the screen for the rest of this sequence.) The frozen alien bodies were loaded on to Xenu's galactic cruisers, which looked like DC-8s, except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the frozen alien bodies to our planet, earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii. The aliens were no longer frozen, they were dead. The souls of those aliens, however, lived on, and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil lord Xenu had prepared for this. Xenu didn't want their souls to return, and so he built giant soul catchers in the sky. The souls were taken to a huge soul brain-washing facility, which Xenu had also built on earth. There the souls were forced to watch days of brain-washing material, which tricked them into believing a false reality (including the teachings of major religions). Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed the earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they could grab on to. They attached themselves to all mankind, which still, to this day, causes all of our fears, our confusions and our problems."
Well, the producers left the killer part of the story out. The Cruisers were also throwing the hydrogen bomb on frozen aliens, just in case if they were alive?!?! Actually Scientologists are being told this story when they are at OT 3 phase (Operating Thetan). Until that phase they are allready brainwashed, so afterwards they believe in any stupidity because they carry a mash potato in stead of a brain I guess. They need help for sure.

I knew how a crap movement Scientology was but such a bullshit!!?...They have their damn churches even here in Amsterdam -yes, I said 'damn' church. I don't give a shit about respect for this movement because if people really buy this crap, it actually worries me!

People have all freedom to believe anything they want of course. I mean, they still believe in Adam and Eva, they believe Jesus is son of God, Moses divided the Red Sea, Mohammed divided the moon, Buddha spoke when he was born.. Some believe pyramids were made by aliens, some believe world is still flat, some believe in alien abductions, some even believe Michael Jackson is innocent.. Fine!. Personally I enjoy reading religious texts, makes it clear for me what others believe so I can clear up my vision for myself and choose not to believe. It doesn't interest me if people find 'peace' with their belief (good for them but it's not my way. I'd like to find peace without any religious support and it's possible. You just have to clear your mind to see it!).. Because we all search for answers, try to find out what life is all about, doesn't mean that we have to believe in 'anything'. But I have great respect for others believes, although it worries me about humanity in longer term..

But at least the other religions are for 'free' to believe, you don't have to pay anything. But this Scientology, I mean people 'pay' for this nonsense!... And they make a contract for years with them, they are definitly trapped! It is ridiculous to call this movement a 'religion' in the first place but I don't see much difference in fact. Maybe a lesser religion, more idiot and dangerous than the rest.

Hail Xenu!...

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4 Noises:

At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 12:37:00 AM, Blogger David said...

Complete agreement from me

At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 7:15:00 AM, Blogger Insane_Racounter..! said...

Two things..
First of all "South Park".. You can't be more right about it.. !!
i just can't get enough of this show.. !!
you've pointed out a very common but, not so obvious .. misinterpretaions or beliefs .. people share.. and brought this..nice thought..
"Every thing you see.. or feel
has been fed to your conscience.. by people, of mediocre..(with all due..disregard) awareness (or Intellect ).. who, build their own fallible theories about GOD, the unknown, the alien.. something incomprehensible by them due to lack of intellect,
These theories, floated along the downstream of time, gaining momentum with every generation they have been passed through..
finally reaching the epitome of it'stupidity..leading to beliefs like scientology, the holy ghost, the body of christ, the passion of the jew...which
Matt stone and Trey parker..
bring out in their own satyrical..tone.. what more can you take pleasure in watching ?"

At Wednesday, March 29, 2006 11:42:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know, it is amazing. Most things I’ve found worthy of ridicule get ridiculed and then I move on. But with Scientology I can’t seem to stop. That’s because I’ve never ran into anything more ridicule-worthy in all my days. One can tool on it from morning till night and still not scratch the surface of it's ridiculousness.

I’ve heard of crap before, but Scientology is singularly the biggest pile of crap anyone ever tried to pass off as a religion in human history. I could sit down and create one in 5 minutes about Moogloid - the one-eyed butt-pirate form Mooglikistan that would be better than the steaming pile that is Scientology.

At Thursday, March 30, 2006 5:08:00 PM, Blogger . nothing . said...

Thanks for the comments. Well, what Scientology exactly is already described by the founder of this movement, science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard:

"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion" (Reader's Digest reprint, May 1980, p.1)

In fact I've decided to start my own movement, Self-destructivism! You can read my Self-destructivist Manifesto (somewhere in my previous posts) and join me. No personality tests, no contracts or whatsoever.

I accept credit cards, pay pal, cash, two bottle of wine (prefer Pavillon Rouge du Chateau Margaux) or a Snickers bar (I love Snickers, what can I do!).. Female members are highly welcome. Actually in my opinion I prefer to see more women in everywhere. I can also make special arrangements for their payments, in that case wines are on me ;-)

New religion, new movement, exactly what I like: Praise Nothing!


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